River

Looking at my Nixon its about that time,
to go and save the world from the daily grind...

Sarah knows whats up...
So here I find myself, in Uganda, close to Christmas..how time flies. I cannot believe that in less that two months it will have been a year since I departed on this fate-filled trip and had no clue as to what i was getting myself into. But here I am, thinking about life again. Thinking about my time here. Thinking about ideas accomplished. Thinking about shit yet to be thought of, let alone acomplished. Thinking about home and a "river i could skate away on". So, as i sit in the PC office in the big city, what are some of my memories and thoughts on all this shenanagins? (Hmm...that word reminds me of Benagins and the Monte Cristo sandwhich that i always wanted to try that Jon always tried to restrain me from in fear of the mother of all gas-bubbles. Deep fried with jam? Really? ahh!!! must stop thinking about it.)

Well, one thought has come to my head now. Weebles wobble but they dont fall down. Thats what Marmie always told me. And this year I have found myself wobbling and wobbling, but as only a mother knows, I have yet to fall down. Teetering from one sickness to the other, then trying to make some kinda of life for myself in between has been difficult. But I have managed. I am at hopefully one of last doc appts as we speak...and that feels good. And the feeling of wanting to be at site feels good too. I remember when i first got here, if ever i went away for a weekend, I always dreaded that ride back to Kaliro in the morning frm where ever i was. Now, I think only of the mush less hassels I have at site and my own space. And my work. Months and months of delaying, trying to realize just what it is that i want to do, have finally paid off. I got my video done for CSU, which i thought would never happen even close to on time. And, I have found my girls for my new project...poor ladies dont know who their getting involved with, but I will try to be the best teacher I can be for them.

Another long-standing family quote: Learn a lot and play a lot. Thats what my dad has told me since i was a wee babe, maybe too young to know the difference between the two. But i know now. And i know since I have been in this country, I have become incredibly good at being uncomfortable. Or, I have gotten so used to being uncomfortable so that i cannot even tell the difference anymore of when I am relaxed to when I am on-guard(!). This has its ups and downs, as i find myself flipping off a 12 year old and then thinking, "what the hell, lisa? you just flipped off a 12-yr old. that is so wrong. why does it feel so right?" My reactions have become very reactionary here, to say the least. God knows what kind of behavior I will exibit when i return to the US? Just be patient with me, please.

But I ahve learned to both hold back and lash out, respectively ( i will never have all the energy i want to yell at every child that talks to me in that funny-mocking voice calling me 'muzungu' but i will always have the energy to jump a grown man's shit when he makes me crawl over him to get to a seat on the mutatu, cause thats just plain rude, ssebo!). I have learned to dance, although not well. I have taught people how to bake (even though i really am no good at it). I have learned that a visit or a visitor is better unannounced (although, my hermit side will always beg to differ).I have learned that once you show someone that you are giving them your all, they will gladly return the favor, sometimes in the form of a chicken (I really dont know what to do with KoKo, my enkoko (chicken)...Im actually quite terrified of her. obviously that summer stint at the Bell's house did nothing for me). And I have learned that i actually have a lot of fun when
my ugandan friends are laughing at me. We know that we are all set in our own ways, and we may not change a whole helluva lot, but we can all enertan one another by doing our own thing. I've also learned that I can love all sorts of people, and be loved by them. And I really cannot imagine how much more I can possibly gain one year from now...but its pretty exciting to think about.

So here we all go, about to end another year. And its comin' on Christmas. This time of year means too much to too many people. We all have our ideals, our memories, and we try to recapture christmas-past w/ each year. Just know, that i am no different. And while i will happily embark on my first Ugandan x-mas, commencing with the slaughter of KoKo, i still need to have my way home, from memory only (although the deco's Marmie sent will be a big help).

Its coming on christmas
Theyre cutting down trees
Theyre putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
But it dont snow here
It stays pretty green
Im going to make a lot of money
Then Im going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a riverI could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on...

-Joni Mitchell