A Little Lisa.: So This is the New Year.

April 22, 2010. That's my big bad Close of Service date. Well, actually, I am going to leave April 25th, but my ties with PC will end on the 22nd (and im sure some of you are relieved a little bit that ill stop using acronyms like APCD, PCV and COS and then you'll know what the hell im talking about).

Yes, The end is nigh.

And with comes all the contemplation and reflection on 2 years (almost) down.
As of late, Ive been faced with constant memories of my life here...and even regrets of not being able to do more. The road that found me here was lined with love, tears, friends, bliss, connections and its fair share of disconnects. And of course, my own self worth - whether it turned to earth or resurrected itself- it was all here. Crammed into 2 years. 2 years of learning a lot and playing a lot. 2 years of growth. 2 years of a sort of happiness that ive never experienced before. 2 years of perspective, that will only keep building on itself the longer time goes on.

Now, it all boils down to 3 months of acceptance. Acceptance that life is life - and life really has no plans for you except to watch you and allow you to make your own choices - and to own them. To accept them. And to love them, so that you can love yourself. Everyday, Im getting closer and closer to accepting and loving the life that Ive built for myself here. And closer and closer to appreciating all that it brought me. All that Ive experienced here, all that I've been through - I chose it. And it has been a good path for me.

Some people say that 'everything happens for a reason'. ive never been sure how i feel about this saying. But the neighbor kids are sitting on my verandah and calling my name now. They want me to take pictures of them. And feed me jackfruit. I'll think about 'reasons' tomorrow and just appreciate what is happening now.

Things Ill miss? Ive got a whole list.
I'll miss nature in Uganda. Both Human and Mother. The highpitched voice when a man recounts an unbelievable story (Aiiii! Mama!) and the wind in the trees that always brought me back to Wyoming if i closed my eyes. And a fierce storm out of no where, when the sun is still lighting up half the sky. Sunsets. Even Ugandan indirectness. The ants and termites and Mother Nature Herself attempting to reclaim my home from me.
Ill miss people. The chaos and drama of my neighbors. The peace and often awkward silence of Agnes' house, in comparison to my own. Sitting amongst my group making beads listening to gossip I'll never understand. Even the harassment of children.
Ill miss smells. Sickenly-sweet smell of fene. The smell of fires - cooking, burning. The smell of freshly laid cement or the smell of it sweating in the heat, which used to remind me of the Dominican. Parafin will never remind me of camping again.
The noise, too. The sound of freshly broken and then bound branches, sweeping the dirt outside my house at 630 in the morning. Children's voices. Radios blaring Luganda or the BBC tone announcing the beginning of a new hour, a new show. Thunder cracking so suddenly and so hard, you're sure the tree in your front yard was sacrificed to the lightening.

The things that i wont miss are things that i wont mention. Both b/c i dont know how long these things will actually remain with me as the memories that i want of Uganda, but also, because Im sure half of you have heard me grapple with them before. No, these things will be easy for me to forget. And one day, maybe, Ill wake up in America and laugh about the fact that i actually miss something that i used to loathe in Uganda.
So, here I go. Embarking on the beginning of the end. To do it with pride and a smile on my face - even if I dont feel like smiling that particular day. Ill do it anyway. Because i deserve to smile along side the people here who have accepted me.
l'm sure I'll let you all know how this all turns out. Until then, enjoy some holiday pics.

Nana's awesome stocking. Im keeping this for a long time.

I was allowed to assist in the kitchen. Obviously, i was a big help. I was very interested in the cooking oil...key ingredient in most Ugandan dishes. (Dec. 25)